Weddings and vows

And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

The passage most weddings begin from. A man leaves father and mother, cleaves to his wife, and the two become one flesh. In its own setting it explains why marriage exists at all, told as the end of the first human being alone.

And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Jesus quotes Genesis 2 here, but the setting is a legal dispute about divorce rather than a celebration. He is answering Pharisees about the grounds on which a man may dismiss his wife, and the line about not putting asunder limits that power.

And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.

Often read as a wedding vow, and it is a vow, but a widow says it to her mother-in-law on a road out of Moab. Ruth binds herself to Naomi's people, Naomi's God, and a shared grave. Nothing in it concerns marriage.

Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.

Set me as a seal upon thine heart: love strong as death, jealousy cruel as the grave, a flame many waters cannot quench. The poem is not gentle. It names love and jealousy in one breath and says love cannot be bought.

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

The threefold cord, read at weddings as the couple plus God. Ecclesiastes is making a practical case for two people not being alone: shared work, someone to lift you when you fall, warmth at night, defence against attack. The third strand goes unnamed.

Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.

A prophet's rebuke to men divorcing the wives of their youth. It calls the wife a companion and a covenant partner and God a witness to the marriage. Read at a wedding, it functions as a warning at least as much as a blessing.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

The husband's half of a first-century household code. The instruction measures love by self-sacrifice, as Christ gave himself for the church, rather than by authority. The surrounding passage assumes a hierarchical household, and readers differ sharply over how much of that structure carries over.

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

Not written about marriage but about a congregation living at close quarters: mercy, kindness, humility, patience, putting up with one another, forgiving quarrels, and love over all of it as the bond. It describes a daily practice rather than a single day.

And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there: And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.

Jesus and his disciples are simply guests at a village wedding in Cana, invited along with his mother. Before any miracle, the scene establishes that he was there. Weddings in that setting ran for days, and the whole village came.