Raising children

And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

The instruction that follows the Shema: keep these words in your own heart first, then speak them sitting at home, walking the road, lying down, getting up. Teaching here is not a lesson at a set hour but the ordinary talk of a household.

And he spake unto the children of Israel, saying, When your children shall ask their fathers in time to come, saying, What mean these stones? Then ye shall let your children know, saying, Israel came over this Jordan on dry land. For the LORD your God dried up the waters of Jordan from before you, until ye were passed over, as the LORD your God did to the Red sea, which he dried up from before us, until we were gone over: That all the people of the earth might know the hand of the LORD, that it is mighty: that ye might fear the LORD your God for ever.

Twelve stones are set up at Gilgal for one stated purpose: so that when children later ask what they mean, an adult has to tell the story of the crossing. The memory of the whole people is built to depend on a child's question.

We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children: That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments:

A long history psalm that explains why it is being recited, so the next generation will know it and tell theirs. It does not pass down a clean record: the psalm goes on to catalogue how the fathers rebelled, and that is included on purpose.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. This is a proverb, a statement of how things generally run, of the kind the book collects by the hundred. It is not a contract, and it was never issued as one.

He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Sparing the rod is called hating the son. The rod is a literal stick, and corporal punishment was the ordinary discipline of the ancient Near East, assumed rather than argued for. What the proverb adds is that it belongs to love and not to temper.

Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

Correction, the proverb says, ends in rest for the parent and delight in the child. Its argument is that discipline pays out over a long stretch of time, set against the easier course of leaving a child to himself.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Children obey, and fathers are not to provoke their children to wrath. The second half is the unexpected one: in a household where a father's legal power over his children was close to absolute, the letter puts a limit on how he may use it.

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

A single line to fathers: do not provoke your children, or they will be discouraged. The word behind discouraged is nearer to losing heart, a child who stops trying. It names the cost of constant criticism without prescribing what to do instead.

And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them. But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein. And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them.

People bring children to Jesus and the disciples turn them away as an interruption. He is angry about it, takes the children in his arms, and makes them the example of how the kingdom is received, children being socially negligible in that world.