Friendship

And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day, and would let him go no more home to his father’s house. Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle.

Jonathan, the king's son and heir, binds himself to David the day after the giant falls, and hands over his robe, his armour, his sword and his belt. Giving away the prince's clothing is giving away what the clothing stands for.

And as soon as the lad was gone, David arose out of a place toward the south, and fell on his face to the ground, and bowed himself three times: and they kissed one another, and wept one with another, until David exceeded. And Jonathan said to David, Go in peace, forasmuch as we have sworn both of us in the name of the LORD, saying, The LORD be between me and thee, and between my seed and thy seed for ever. And he arose and departed: and Jonathan went into the city.

The two part in a field, knowing Saul means to kill David. They weep until David cannot stop, and swear an oath that binds their descendants after them. The friendship has put Jonathan on the wrong side of his own father and his own inheritance.

And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.

Ruth refuses to go back. The words are spoken by a widow to her mother-in-law, not by a bride, and they hand over the whole of a life: your road, your lodging, your people, your God, your grave. She swears it on her own head.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

The wounds of a friend are called faithful, and set against the kisses of an enemy, which are deceitful. Honest speech that leaves a mark is ranked above warmth that costs the speaker nothing.

Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens the face of another. The picture is friction: two hard things brought against each other, each leaving the other keener. What it offers is usefulness rather than comfort.

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

The first half is difficult in Hebrew and the KJV reads it as a man who has friends must show himself friendly, while other readings have many companions bringing a man to ruin. The second half is the line people keep: a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite: for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him. And when they lifted up their eyes afar off, and knew him not, they lifted up their voice, and wept; and they rent every one his mantle, and sprinkled dust upon their heads toward heaven. So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great.

Three friends travel from their own countries, fail to recognise him at a distance, and sit on the ground with him for seven days and nights without a word. Almost everything they say after this makes it worse. The silence was the best of it.

Then Job answered and said, I have heard many such things: miserable comforters are ye all. Shall vain words have an end? or what emboldeneth thee that thou answerest? I also could speak as ye do: if your soul were in my soul’s stead, I could heap up words against you, and shake mine head at you.

Job's verdict on his comforters: miserable comforters, all of them. He tells them he could produce the same speeches without effort if their positions were reversed, which is the point. Explanation is cheap when the trouble belongs to someone else.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.

On his last night Jesus tells the disciples he no longer calls them servants but friends, on the grounds that he has told them what he was told. Friendship is defined here by disclosure, and set beside laying down a life.