Forgiving someone

And Joseph said unto his brethren, Come near to me, I pray you. And they came near. And he said, I am Joseph your brother, whom ye sold into Egypt. Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life. For these two years hath the famine been in the land: and yet there are five years, in the which there shall neither be earing nor harvest. And God sent me before you to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God: and he hath made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt.

Joseph tells the brothers who sold him who he is. He does not pretend it did not happen, since "whom ye sold into Egypt" is in the same breath, but he sets the wrong inside a longer story. This comes after years, and after he has tested them.

And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God? But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive. Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them.

Said once their father is dead and the brothers expect payback. "Ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good" holds both halves: their intent was evil, the outcome was not. Joseph steps out of the judge's place, which he could in fact occupy.

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Peter offers seven times as a generous figure and Jesus answers with seventy times seven, a number meant to end the counting rather than to set a higher ceiling. The case in view is a brother who keeps on sinning against him.

Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

The end of the parable: a servant released from an unpayable debt jails a man over a small one and is handed to the tormentors. Its logic is proportion, what was released against what is withheld, and its closing line is genuinely severe.

Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.

The fuller instruction, in which the wrong is named first. Rebuke him, and forgive him if he repents, seven times in a day if the turning is repeated that often. Confrontation and repentance are both in this picture, where Matthew 18:22 mentions neither.

And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left. Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.

Prayed from the cross about men in the act of killing him, who have asked for nothing. It is the hardest case in the book, and note its form: it asks God to forgive them rather than declaring that what they are doing is excusable.

Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

About conduct rather than feeling. No repayment in kind, peace so far as it depends on you, which the verse itself admits may not be far, and vengeance left to God. Handing it over assumes the wrong was real and will be dealt with.

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

Forgiveness listed among things put on like clothing, with mercy, kindness and patience, and written to a congregation that has quarrels in it. The measure offered is what the readers have themselves received, not what the offender has earned.

The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.

An observation about a person's standing: passing over an offence is called his glory. Proverbs is describing how discretion commonly works out, not commanding that every offence be overlooked, and other proverbs speak of confronting instead.