Family conflict

And Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing wherewith his father blessed him: and Esau said in his heart, The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then will I slay my brother Jacob.

After Jacob steals the blessing, Esau plans to kill him once their father is dead. The narrator states the hatred plainly and passes no verdict on it. Twenty years go by before the brothers meet again, and they part company soon after.

Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colours. And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him.

Jacob's open favouritism toward Joseph is named as the cause: his brothers saw it, hated him, and could not speak peaceably to him. The text puts the father's preference first, before anything the brothers go on to do.

And when Joseph’s brethren saw that their father was dead, they said, Joseph will peradventure hate us, and will certainly requite us all the evil which we did unto him. And they sent a messenger unto Joseph, saying, Thy father did command before he died, saying, So shall ye say unto Joseph, Forgive, I pray thee now, the trespass of thy brethren, and their sin; for they did unto thee evil: and now, we pray thee, forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of thy father. And Joseph wept when they spake unto him. And his brethren also went and fell down before his face; and they said, Behold, we be thy servants. And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God? But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.

Years after selling Joseph, and only once their father is dead, the brothers send a message asking forgiveness, afraid he has been waiting all along. Joseph weeps and says they meant harm while God meant good — a reading of the outcome, not an excusing of them.

And the king was much moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept: and as he went, thus he said, O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!

Absalom had raised an army against his father and is killed against David's explicit orders. The king's response is not relief but his son's name, said over and over. The rift was never mended, and the grief is left standing.

A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.

An observation that an offended brother is harder to win than a fortified city, and that such quarrels lock like the bars of a castle. It says why family conflict lasts, without claiming it cannot end.

Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom. For the son dishonoureth the father, the daughter riseth up against her mother, the daughter in law against her mother in law; a man’s enemies are the men of his own house.

A prophet describing a society whose trust has collapsed: son against father, daughter against mother, in-laws against each other, a man's enemies inside his own house. It is a diagnosis of a whole people, quoted later by Jesus.

And the multitude cometh together again, so that they could not so much as eat bread. And when his friends heard of it, they went out to lay hold on him: for they said, He is beside himself.

Jesus's own people go out to take him home, saying he is out of his mind. The KJV renders the phrase "his friends"; verse 31 shows his mother and brothers arriving. The family of the central figure is among those who doubt him.

And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated him. And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends: But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf. And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine. It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.

The half of the parable usually left out. The older son refuses to come in, and tells his father that years of faithful service earned him nothing. The father comes outside and pleads with him. The story ends there, with the son still in the yard.

Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

Paul's instruction not to repay injury, qualified twice: if it is possible, and as far as it depends on you. The qualification concedes that peace is not always available, and stops short of resting the whole outcome on one party.